Take a Long Hard Look Across the Fence.

Lately, I've heard way to many people wishing for the life of others. I've listened as people complain and wonder why they don't have the good fortune that others have. Or, why life has turned out for them so differently than others they know. Others with similar jobs, homes, dreams and histories.

All I can say is look long and hard at the people you envy and you might realize that the grass is not always greener on the other side of the fence. Quite frankly, I've discovered at times that the grass I am looking at is a lovely shade of gold. Basically signifying that it has long since died and what I am staring at is a pile of straw. I'll take my mottled and patchy clumps of green any old day.

I thought about this today for two reasons. First: Do I wish I had the success of Nora Roberts, John Grisham, Stephanie Meyer, and J.K.Rowling? Come on now...in the writing world, who wouldn't? But do I look beyond the green to see the brown that taints the perfectly manicured lawn?

You bet.

I look at it this way: The money and notoriety would be amazing, but with that comes the hustle and bustle of signings, tours and public appearances. Right now that seems very scary to me. Not to mention that you open yourself up to a whole new world of people you may never even realized exist.

I'm talking about the crazy fan/stalker/hater/critic/blogger, who will do whatever they can to make you feel bad about what you are doing because it makes them feel better about themselves. Not so looking forward to that. On this avenue I do tend to lean more on the pessimistic side than the optimistic. It makes me feel grounded.

The second reason I thought of the 'Other side of the fence' was because of how it makes us feel. If we are forever longing for something that's not even in our own backyard what does that say about us personally? It's more a matter of enjoying and accepting what you have and being able to appreciate what you see on the other side without selling yourself short.

No matter where my writing takes me I am embracing it whole heartedly and am happy with the results.

Pages to date: 108 (I did complete 25 character pages though)

Pages on new Book:8

Rejections:8

Queries Still Out:9

Didn't get more out yet, but I will:)

What If???????

I have two trains of thought for today that got me going and wanted to throw both out there before I forget.

First, I was thinking about what someone said to me a few weeks ago about starting the writing thing. She said, "Wouldn't it have been great if you would have discovered your passion for writing when you were in your 20's? Then you would have many more years ahead or you to write."

Ouch! I admit I'm no spring chicken, but I also don't have one foot in the grave yet either.

It got me thinking though. What if I had started writing when I was younger? Where would I be?

I can tell you, because I know the answer to this one.

I would probably have written the most boring and mundane books you have ever read. Strike that...because no one would have probably read my books. I completely believe that it has taken me to this point in my existence to be able to have the experiences and heartaches in life to come up with the inspiration and creative ideas for the stories I'm writing. Without the past there would be no writing future for me. I have been able to pull from so many instances in time that from this point forward I can write until I'm 110 years old. But I don't plan it. I'm sure my eyes will go from all this staring at computer screens.

I think that anytime you start something you love and are passionate about, is the right time. There's no turning back the clock. Unless you're writing a time travel novel, then I guess there is.

Okay, second train of thought for the day.

If money wasn't an object, or you won the lottery, what would you do? And I'm not talking about a bucket list, because quite frankly I think that's a little depressing to think about. But, what would top your list of things to do and how much would you, as a person, change.

A lot of people say the same things: buy a house, a car, travel, pay off debts.

But if you ran through your list and had money and time to spare, what would you be doing to make yourself happy and to feel like you had a purpose to your life? I have met people who 'Have It All' and they aren't any happier with their life than the average Joe. They may afford more things and never want for anything tangible, but personally and emotionally they are just like everyone else.

Money only gets you so far then you need to look for what it is that will drive you forward...other than a new Porshe. It's the drive within you that needs to push you to accomplish things in your life that make you happy. And one thing I've learned after 39 years of searching (I say 39 because I found it last year) is that you have to do things for yourself because it makes you feel good about it, not because your looking to get rich quick or impress anyone.

When you accomplish things for yourself it's worth all the money in the world because it belongs to you and no one else.

Getting published would be amazing and fantastic but, even if I write 25 books and never get a single one out there, I will still write number 26. Because at the end of the day, they are my stories and my own personal legacy for myself.

Pages to date: 108 (You know why)

Pages on New Book: 7

Rejections:8

Queries still Out There:9 Will send out 4 or 5 on Monday. This was one of those weeks that was gone before it even started.

Songs of the Day: Sade/Soldier of Love

Fluke/Absurd & Al Jarreau/Ain't No Sunshine

Keeping the Green Eyed Monster at Bay.

One of my closest friends received amazing feedback for the first three chapters of a book she's writing. And where I am elated and ecstatic for her, I have to admit that the green eyed monster started to claw its way up from somewhere deep inside. I chalk it up to the rejections under my belt.

But then I realized that that green eyed monster is just that, a monster. And I have beaten him down into submission and am truly happy for my friend and realized that I can learn from her critique. It's a good thing to look at the notes she received and see how I might be able to associate some of them to things that exist in my writing, as well as hers.

Her story is really fun and cute and that makes me happy for her good fortune. When there is something that gets you jealous or envious of another person I realized it's best to take stock in the good things in your own life and be thankful for what you do have.

I'll keep sending out those queries and keep my fingers crossed.

Pages to date on book 2:108 (Still ironing out those details)

Pages on a new book: 5

Rejections: 8

Queries still out:9

Nice thing about queries that get no response is that there will always be a small glimmer of hope that there will be a request that comes in:)

Song of the day: Yes/Owner of a Lonely Heart

The Isley Brothers/It's Your Thing

Ziggy Marley/Dragonfly

Daggers to the Heart.

Yes, ladies and gentleman, Daggers!!!!

Okay, I'm being way to over dramatic at this point and making this worse than it really is. Because like I've said before...I just started down this road and there are many more miles ahead of me.

But today I received...not one...not two...but three envelopes. And when I got the call at work that I had three writing related pieces of mail waiting for me at home, it was all I could do to not go looking for the first samurai sword I could find and commit hari kari. It's going back to my three strikes rule. And from the sounds of it, those three strike were waiting to bash me in the head as I walked through my door.

But alas, like I said, I am being way too over the top with it. And one of the envelopes was something pleasant. It was a pin to wear on my badge to my writers meetings. Actually, it was a pin that says PRO and was given to me for the completion and submission of my novel (even though it's been completely getting it's butt kicked with rejections). So it was a positive thing.

The other two were rejections. One from a big agency in NY. We all saw that one coming.

And, unfortunately, the other was the 'Request for more:1' at the bottom of previous blogs. But the positive on that one is that the rejection was typed out to me on a REAL 8x10 sheet of paper. And the agent explained why they were passing on it. This is more than I've gotten from anyone at this point and I really appreciate it. The agent said that the market right now is really tight for my genre and that stories have to have a strong voice and a unique enough premise. I was happy to read that my voice was good, but was told that the story was too much like others they are seeing at this time.

I don't think I'm going to re-write the book seeing as it's done and all. And most of the people who have read it enjoyed it and thought it was different. So I'm going to send out more queries this week and see what that gets me.

This made me think though about how people always say that there really aren't that many stories to be told out there. That it's more like putting a new spin on an old favorite. And after that last rejection I really think that's true.

I also believe that the cosmic universe has a way of making things happen when they are suppose to. So I choose to believe whole-heartedly that when the time is right I will find that agent or editor who believes in my story and hence believes in me as a writer.

And then the sky will open up and be nothing but rainbows and pots of gold. Sorry, there's a Lucky Charms box in front of me and it's oddly inspirational right now.

Pages to date: 108 (This is on on the second book in the series. And, yes, I know it hasn't changed in a while, but check out the next line.)

Pages to date New Book: 5 (I started another story outside the series as I get my series facts organized and finish my character run sheets. See, I'm still writing:)

Rejections: 8

Queries still Out:9

Songs of the day: Adam Ant/Goody Two Shoes

Lyle Lovett/M-O-N-E-Y (Amen brother)

Joan Jett & The Blackhearts/I Love Rock 'N Roll

Productivity Takes Many Forms

A friend called today and said she had done some writing this week but felt guilty because she had time and felt she should have done more than she did.

I think any writing you can get in given the schedules most of us keep and the speed with which time sails by, is good.

I have felt her guilt because I too have remained stagnate on the writing front for most of this week. Then I stopped myself and said, "What are you beating yourself up for? You were still productive." What I did was still writing related, even if it didn't advance my page count anywhere past the 108 mark.

As mentioned in a previous post, I got a new writing program and converted my material to this program. It was tedious and time consuming but necessary. And it will be more beneficial in the long run. Then, as I was about to get back into the swing of things, I decided to create character sheets for each main character of my stories. Since the first book is part of a series, I needed to remember particular characteristics and histories for people who will appear in the next few books.

Again, this was writing related and most necessary for the future, and sanity, of my novels. So, where I didn't make progress with the book, I did make great leaps in the organizing and housekeeping for my stories. I would say this counts 100%.

I truly believe it's a miracle these days when we as women have so many tasks to take care of on a daily basis, that we can write at all.

Case in point: Today, Saturday, I went to work before 8am, did my 8 hours, went to the store to get the provisions for my son's birthday party tomorrow, pressure washed my patio and sidewalks, made miniature food for my son and his friend (who's sleeping over for the night), Got the party stuff together, wrapped presents, wrote this blog, and did some more character sheets.

Whew! I just made myself very tired. Just for contrast: my husband took our son to look at bikes at a couple of stores and announced that HE needed a nap. Amazing!

So more power to you my writer friends and remember that any word that makes it to the page is considered something productive in my book.

Pages to date: 108

Rejections:6

Queries Still Out: 10

Request for More: 1

Songs of the day:Michael Jackson: Earth Song

Michael Buble: Sway

Michael Franti&Spearhead: Hey

Yes, today was for the Michael's:)

One More Strike.

So I got to wake up this lovely morning to my usual handful of email and text messages. Mostly advertisements and spam. Then as I was deleting the junk mail I noticed a response from another query that I sent: REJECTION # 6.

Now I'm debating on my post yesterday about sending more queries out on Friday. This one was nice like the others I have received, but it got me thinking about my book and what it is that these people want. The query basically stated that while the agent was "intrigued" with my query, it was not something that they were "Enthusiastic enough to pursue."

Of course the wheels started squealing and popping in my head as I tried to decipher what exactly that meant. Did they like the query and this was not the genre they were looking to pick up? Or, does "intrigued" really mean this sucks and I should pitch it in the fire and start over?

I know the publishing world right now is on the same track as the real estate market and many other businesses. In a crapper waiting to get flushed out, but is it seriously worth pursuing at this time?

Yes, this is the self pity portion of the post. That query rejection was strike one for the day. Batting stats: 0-1

Then later in the day as I started my shift at work (we're talking 6pm, my shift ends around 1am) the second strike hit.

Okay, it really wasn't that bad, but it made me feel a little defeated none the less. I submitted part of my novel to a contest. I thought I was doing good with getting in all the submission material on time and with all the proper guidelines. Low and behold I had my name on the synopsis and was emailed back that it is an anonymous submission and I needed to not have my name on the synopsis.

The contest coordinator was very nice and said I could just send in more copies of the synopsis and meet the deadline. This was very sweet of her because she had every right to just throw the whole submission in the trash because they are very strict about the guidelines.

I felt like an idiot for not getting this right and it just fueled my feelings from the morning rejection. I started to stress about what else I may have missed or what else is wrong with my material. Self Doubt...Worry...Insecurity... Panic.

Now I was 0-2. If I can make it to midnight without one more strike I'll be fine.

I think I will start going to my spinning classes again because it helps me to sweat it all out and gives me one hour of clarity. I think that's what I've lost lately. I think I will also turn to my new favorite reference book, Stephen Kings, ON WRITING. He really has a lot of great advice interspersed with life lessons he experienced along the way. Plus he's funny and I think we could all use a little humor in this industry.

Pages to date: 108

Rejections:6

Queries still out:10

Request for more:1

DREAM-WISH-REALITY

Many friends and I have been talking lately about our dreams, wishes and goals. And this got me thinking about what each of those words really mean in the grand scheme of things.

I look at dreams as something our subconscious places into our heads in order to show us what is possible. I think of a wish as something we long to have, either tangible or spiritual. Let's face it, at some point or another we have all thrown a coin in the wishing well somewhere. Okay, maybe it's a fountain in the center of the mall, but we have done it at some point in time. These wishes are the conscious dreams that we control.

What I propose is that you take what you dream and what you wish for and merge them into a tangible GOAL. Something that you can reach for and motivate towards. Something that can morph into reality. I think that's how I feel about the writing side of my life. It started as a dream, right now I am wishing for it to take hold, and ultimately I have set the goals I need to pursue to make it a reality.

Of course when the day comes that something does progress with the writing, like an agent offer or the call that I'm going to be published, then I believe that I will be back at square one where it feels like a DREAM. Kind of neat how I just came full circle with that.

I try to incorporate these ideas about dreams, wishes and goals when I think about my characters. If I didn't I think they would be pretty bland. They need something to fight for and something that keeps driving them forward. Whether they make it to the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow or not, it's all about the journey they take to get there. I think that's true for life in general.

Pages written to date: 107 (I know I've been here for a coupe of days, but like I said once I started with a new writing program it became a new obsession to get everything transferred. I should be back on track within a day and turning out pages like crazy.)

Rejections: 5
Queries still out there: 11
Request for more material: 1
(Yeah, this stuff hasn't changed either.)

Haven't had the chance to delve into music much the last few days either. Relatives in town.

The Discovery Key

At a writers meeting this weekend, a lot of people were asking the question:

"Where do you find the inspiration for a story?"

The answers varied slightly, but the general idea was the same; observe what is happening around you and go off of your own feelings about what is happening.

What I got from this is that, Observation is the Key to Discovery. And consequently, the more you pay attention to what is going on around you the more you will be inspired and the ideas will start flowing. This is true whether it's someones actions or just something they said. It's the feeling you get when placed in a particular location or setting. It can be simple like watching a hummingbird flit around from flower to flower collecting nectar. Or, complex like trying to keep up with each play in a sporting event and enjoying the periodic break that comes from a fight, either by the players or some over zealous fans.

The basic gist is that there are wonderful stories and ideas unfolding all around us. And all we have to do is open our eyes and listen.

Pages written to date: 107

Had to stop down due to an unexpected visit from the relatives. Also, got a new WORD program and decided to transfer my manuscript and other writing files to the new format. Now I'm obsessed. I am painstakingly rechecking all my pages to make sure they are spaced correctly and in the right size font, etc. I don't know what I was thinking. I should have left it alone. Oh well, too late now.

Rejections: 5 Queries still out there: 11

Request for more: 1

These numbers are starting to get to me so I think I will send some more out by the end of the week. At least that will give me the chance for the rejection tally to go up.

Take the Avalanche and Make Snowcones.

First and foremost, I need to give a big THANKS to my friend Tim who worked extra hard to give me a new image for the top of this blog. I only wish I was as creative with photoshop as you are. You are a great friend and I am so glad to know you. XOXO

So today was one of those days that you find yourself revitalized and electrified. The reason: Today was my monthly writers meeting.

There is a jolt of creativity, kinship, inspiration, and reality that is infused into my soul every time I go. Not only that, but I always meet some of the most encouraging and wonderful women. They are honest in what they tell me about the writer's life and the struggles and hurdles you must pole vault over, but even as they talk about the face slap of reality, I never feel discouraged when I talk to them. I appreciate their knowledge and insight. Every meeting is like a power charge to the 'Writing Soul' who lives within me.

I find that I eagerly await the second Saturday of each month in anticipation of the meeting. It's the entire experience. I love the hour in the car as my friends and I discuss everything book related. Then I find I try to get to the meeting early to enjoy the Q&A with published authors. And the speakers always inspire me no matter what the subject.

As I bask in the euphoria that still surrounds me from my day, I have thought a lot about what I learned and how we all go through times in life where everything seems overwhelming and starts to bury us like an avalanche of snow. And I have come to realize that instead of getting bogged down by the crushing, cold weight of deadlines, rejections, trying to understand the mysterious world of publishing, and those days where self doubt makes you ready to pitch it all in the fire...the only thing to do is make snow cones.

Little by little you get a handle on the issues plaguing you one small white ball at a time. You slather it with sugary sweet syrup to make it more tolerable and when that one is gone you move on to the next one. And eventually, one day you will realize that there is no more snow to make those snow cones and the spring thaw has hit. At least for a while.

Page count to date: 106

Day 13: Rejections: 5 Queries Still Out There: 11

More material requested: 1

Didn't really have songs of the day today because I was busy talking to people. Maybe tomorrow:)

Do You Really Care What Others Think? Why?

I have given quite a lot of thought to this topic because I realized that my own answer to the question has changed over the years. I was wondering if my shift from that freckle faced girl in Junior High to the 40 year old mom I am now, has drained my self inhibitions and allowed me to just let all the insecurities go.

When I was in Junior High I was terrified of raising my hand to answer the teacher. Even if I did know the answer to the question. I kept thinking, 'what if I say the answer wrong, what if I am wrong, maybe the way I interpreted the story is stupid, what if I burp?' All these thought would take over and I would shy away from opening my mouth. The worst was when the teacher would randomly call on people. It was like playing Russian roulette and the teacher was spinning the gun.

So I was thinking when the tides shifted and I stopped being so self conscious. I think I came out of my shell once I reached college. It was like anything went and the there wasn't the click factor that high school is notorious for.

Over the last 20 years I have gotten to the place in life that I really don't care anymore what other people think. I want to do what makes me happy and to hell with what anyone thinks. So be aware that if you look over at the car next to you as you're driving to work or anywhere else, and you giggle at that person in their car rocking out and singing like they are getting ready for an American Idol audition, that might just be me.

Because I don't care what people may think of me looking like a spaz, I just know I'm enjoying myself and having fun. At the end of the day I think that's what it should be about...doing what makes you happy, and what makes you smile and laugh.

When I write I try to get my characters to this same place. They have to have their own issues and hurdles, but ultimately I want to help them get to that place in life where they are happy and do things that make them laugh and smile. A happy ending on their own terms, not because of any other character, but because it's how they feel inside.

Be crazy, wear what you want, and do what makes you happy.

Pages written to date: 104

Received a notice through my email about a query I sent out stating that if I didn't hear back within 8 weeks from the agent that they were not interested. Not sure if this falls below my post-it note rejection, or if the fact they sent a response to the query counts. Fingers crossed.

Day 11 Rejections: 5

Queries still out there: 11

Request for more: 1

Songs of the Day: Duran Duran, Union of the Snake

Macy Grey, Relating to a psychopath

Seal, People asking why

Scratch Beneath the Surface (With a Jackhammer)!

I was thinking today about my characters in my novels and realized that it's not a matter of writing scenes for your characters as the action takes place. You also need to give a lot of thought to their past and how it affects what you are currently writing for them. Then you need to peek into their future and assess how that will reflect on who they are in the now.

It is most certainly not as easy as people think and to get to the heart of who your characters are you need to dig deep and chip away many layers until you have hit the essence of who your character is.
I was thinking of this because today I had that all encompassing contentment that blossomed when I was writing a scene between two of my characters. There was a total and immediate excitement for me as these two people realized how alike they were and for the first time realized that someone else had been exactly where they had been.

One character was my lead, but the other one wasn't introduced until the end of the first book. It wasn't until I had them reunite in the second book that they truly connected. And writing the scene was euphoric for me because I saw it transpire so effortlessly, like it was meant to happen. And in that moment I realized that I had built both of their pasts to the point that it was destined to bring them together. I actually felt like I did something right for these two characters.

As I drive to work in the afternoons, I always pay attention to what goes on around me. Or, if I'm out and about, I find myself watching people a lot. Hopefully they don't think I'm some sort of stalker or crazy person, but I love to think about what life is like for them.
We have all seen the angry and at times, impatient, people on the roads. Sometimes I wonder if they have had a bad day or if they are dissatisfied with their life in general because why be so angry. Things happen and we've all been there. Accidentally cutting someone off, seeing that person who's swerving in the lanes trying to read their GPS. Or the woman in the car next to us applying her makeup, talking on the cell phone and reading the GPS at the same time. (By the way, I'd call that sheer talent on a dangerous level).

Other times we observe people that surprise us. I was once sitting at a stop light and watched as a good looking man in a really nice business suit was conversing with a homeless man who was sitting on the sidewalk with his shopping cart next to him overflowing with bags and dirty blankets.
I first thought about what could have caused the man on the sidewalk to be homeless. Was it an illness that put him in that situation or maybe it was financial. And what about the businessman. Had he suffered his own hardships and was sharing his story with the homeless man. Or maybe his heart was open to sharing his time with a pour soul down on his luck. Two men so different yet sharing a moment in time.

Then the light changed and I was on to the next red light, but the thoughts about the two men stayed with me.

I honestly believe if you take the time to absorb what goes on around you that wonderful worlds and people can be born just from your own imagination.


I decided to just post a daily page count as to which page I am on instead of the individual pages. It will be easier to see how far I get from day to day.


I am using Times New Roman 12 point font with single and a half line spacing.


Today was a small milestone as I hit page 100. Only about 300 more to go, give or take.


Day 9: Rejections: 5 Queries still out there: 11
Request for more material: 1


Songs of the day: It's going to be a Clarkson week.
Kelly Clarkson, Gone
The Verve, Bittersweet Symphony
& Spandau Ballet, True (Kick'in it old school)

Fear in a Supermarket

I was going to post on image and how we perceive the world and people around us, but deflected on that subject for another post. I had to share the strange trip I had to the grocery store this weekend and what I learned about fear and our inner conscience.

It started with a simple list really: milk, eggs, bread, sugar, coffee, yogurt, and red velvet whoopie pies (Don't judge, I'm a good southern girl who never turns down the red velvet. That would be sacrilegious).

Anyway, when I got to the checkout line I realized that along with my staples of life I had subconsciously loaded some other items into my basket. These were batteries (enough to power one whole aisle of remote control toys from Toys-R-Us), the giant jugs of water (so many that I could hardly push my cart), and a plethora of canned goods with pull top lids.

As I watched my items roll past me on the conveyor belt I realized that FEAR struck at the supermarket. All the horrible disasters that have hit all those poor people in Haiti, Chile, and Indonesia were on my mind. And the culmination of those events sunk so deep in my psyche that I was worried about the people I know and California in general. Let's face it, it's been a while since we've had a shaker and our time is probably past due.

My theory is simple and if I'm wrong everyone can say I'm an over reactive prat and if I'm right I promise not to break out in my Julie Andrews singing voice and chant, I Told You So.

I believe that with the abundance of rain we have received this year and the unseasonably cold weather, that the ground beneath us is swelling and all those valleys and gaps we never see are filling up. So, once our weather gets hot again and these pockets start to dry out, it is my belief that the fault lines will shift generating our next big earthquake. Like I said this is just my theory, I would love nothing more than for us to skate though another year unscathed, but given recent events around the world, I think I would rather be prepared at this moment.

So, how does this relate to writing? Well I realized how much our fears and concerns can cause us to react and how deeply seated they can reside within us. It's like how animals will fight and strike when they are scared and threatened. Even some people act the same way. There is no thinking involved, just a survival instinct. Many people capitalize on this.

It's evident all around us. In books we read, movies and on TV. It is a little scary for me to think of what goes through the minds of those who create horror movies or films where a whole city or the world is destroyed. Have they researched something we don't know about? Are they fatalistic and showing the world their vision makes them grounded? Or, maybe they just had too much spicy food before bed time and this spurned a crazy nightmare that they decided to cash in on.

Whatever the reasons, it places in us the, What If?, thoughts. And I realized that when I write I can dispel some of my own concerns and kick in my own survival instincts in a productive and controlled fashion.

Okay, enough of that. Tomorrow will be much lighter...I promise.

Four more queries went out today. It has been extremely exciting. From the first 4 I sent out I have heard back from 3. That's 75% within a month. It's awesome. What would be more awesome is if someone wanted the novel, but like I said before, I just started down this road so I need to pay quite a few more dues.

Pages Written Today: 7

Day 8 - Rejections: 5 Queries Still Out There: 10

Request for more material: 1

Songs of the Day: Kelly Clarkson, Addicted

Sia, Numb

& Simply Red, Sunrise

Friends and the Road to Sanity.

I have found that the only real way to keep sane, is to

surround yourself with real friends and like minded people.

You may be thinking, 'Duh, that's a given.' But in reality it

can sometimes seem harder than you think.

The only reason is this: I had a good friend come over

tonight and after a very tasty bottle of 2005 Palazzo Red

we just started talking about her book and mine (both

the first one and the sequel I am currently working on) and

I felt like we had a complete melding of the minds.

We worked on concepts on her story and ironed out

details and she brought out valuable questions for my story

that made me think and solidify my own details which are

still yet to be written. In the end we both ended the evening

feeling great and having a well thought out game plan as to

what direction our stories were going to take. And at one

moment I realized something very important...I felt sane.

Somewhere between all our pontificating and questioning

of each other the details worked themselves out and sanity

once again reigned in our worlds. It was awesome!

In the hours that passed, we drank our wine and threw

ideas out at each other like rogue snowballs, I realized that

my friends really do keep me grounded and sane. Without

them I would probably be bouncing off a padded cell at Bellvue

drooling all over myself and singing, Mary Had a Little Lamb,

over and over repeatedly.

For this reason, I have infused a little bit of my close friends

into the heart and soul of my characters. I find that I like

to mix and match traits. I take a little sarcasm from one friend

and mix it with the charming naivete of another and a super

character is born. At least in my mind it is because those are the

traits I relate to when I think of the friends I took them from.

I feel this is why I become emotionally invested in my story

and the people that live within it. Because they embody all that

is great about the people I know.

Okay on a side note, there are those people that I don't

care much for and in the true fashion of vengeance I act out my

frustration towards them by maiming or killing them off in

stories. But it's my own way of keeping my sanity intact and

not taking them too seriously. And it's a lot less

destructive in the end, both emotionally and physically.

So to all my friends out there who have supported me,

laughed with me, cried with me, and listened to me ramble...

THANK YOU for keeping my head on straight and believing

in me. You are truly priceless in my book. XOXO

Pages written today: 5

Day 6: Rejections: 5 Queries Still Out There: 6

Request for more material: 1

Songs of the Day: Sade, The Moon and the Sky and

Nine Inch Nails, The Hand that Feeds

Music and the BEAST Within.

I was thinking today as I was running errands in

the morning hours and singing at the top of my lungs to

Smashing Pumpkins Tonight, Tonight, how much music

plays a part in our daily lives. How it creates emotions

just from the melody, words and beats. How it flips a

fuse somewhere inside you and can make you feel a

serene euphoria or a down right kick-ass type of fury.

Case in point: If I hear Guns N Roses, Welcome to the

Jungle, I find myself inadvertently pressing the petal

to the metal if I'm driving and am surprised to find

that I have yet to get a speeding ticket. Luckily,

the times I come across that song on the radio are

few and far between.

My writing has caused my itunes purchases to

go up considerably. When I started I had 17 songs.

As I heard tunes on the radio or remembered lyrics

that were poignant and made scenes play out in my

head for my story, I would make a point to pull them

in from itunes and add them to the ever growing

play list. To date I now have 184 songs to drive

and inspire me.

A number of people have been shocked to

hear that I always have music playing, whether on

the stereo or with my ear buds in, as I pound out

more pages. It's been that way since I was younger.

I was the kid doing homework with the TV on or

music blasting. Maybe that's why I never got past

a B in most of my subjects. But I graduated high

school and college just fine so no harm no foul.

I think if you lock onto a song, band, or

particular style of music you should think about

why you like it then switch just for one day to a

different type of music and see what it evokes

within you. I like having a well rounded appreciation

for various artists, even if it gets me teased.

That last statement was for my friend, Tim, who

teased me for listening to the smooth jazz station.

So today was for you, Tim, as I sat in my car parked

in my driveway and listened to Toni Braxton's

Another Sad Love Song, on the radio. Unfortunately,

I am not in my 20's such as yourself so a little

retro flashback is necessary in my world. We can't all

listen to bands yet to be discovered and be infused

with the post apocalyptic hip alternative scene. Even

though we try:) XOXO Timmie.

Thanks goes out to my home girl, Francine, for

Florence and the Machine. Lungs, is still my mantra

album right now and has spun so many amazing

scenes in my second novel.

Francine heard this album and said it reminded

her of my novel so I had to have it. And she was 100%

right. Thanks Again com padre').

Day 5 Rejections:5 Queries Still Out There: 6

Queries from Agents for more: 1

Pages written today: 5

Musical Inspiration Today: Pink! Funhouse and

Bad Influence

Didn't get more queries out today, but it's Friday.

I didn't see any point until after the weekend.

But Monday for sure!

PASSION: Wow! What a feeling.

I was asked years ago why I wasn't passionate about my job.

Why wasn't I out there learning everything I could about it,

taking seminars and classes, going to network functions and

pouring every ounce of my being into it?

The answer was easy. My job is just that...a job. I love what

I do and enjoy the wonderful people I get to work with, but at

the end of the day it is a J-O-B. It pays the bills and I have

been told I'm good at what I do, but I never felt a passion

for it.

This got me thinking about what I was passionate about.

And sad to say, I came up empty handed. Some people

scoffed and said what about your son? To which I say,

Ughhh. I would never think of my feelings toward my child

as passionate because that just seems wrong. Instead,

I would say I have a never ending, unconditional, lay

down my life, all encompassing love for my child. This has

always trumped any feelings otherwise.

But PASSION didn't make itself known to me until about

a year ago when I wrote the first words of my manuscript

down. Okay, actually it was the last words because I wrote

the ending first then back tracked and started from the

beginning.

From that moment I was addicted. It wasn't an immediate

passion that made itself known, but a slow growing fire that

always kept me warm and provided the random bursts of

sparks that fed my writing and my soul. I would get home

late from work around 11pm and sit at my computer writing

until 3am, then get up at 8am to get my son to school.

I didn't feel tired during the day. Instead, I was wound up

and energized. I couldn't wait to get back to the world I was

creating and say hello to my characters that I was falling in

love with. And about half way through the novel Passion

took over every cell in my body and I finally for the first time

in my life understood what other people were talking about.

So think about your passion on a daily basis.

Look for that thing that makes you feel like you have

been over loaded with adrenaline and can't sit still. That

thing that makes you smile even when no one else

is looking. If you haven't found it,trust me...it's out there.

It took me 39 years to find it.

Pages written today: 1

The daily update: Rejections: 5

Queries still out there: 6

An agent who requested to see more: 1

Although the new 'Interested agent' part is there don't

get excited for me yet. That's what happened on my

first round of queries out. That "Psych" moment I

talked about in a previous post. No need to get jiggy

with it til the next call for the whole manuscript comes.

I NEED A TIME MACHINE

I really do need a time machine. Not for going back in

time,because quite frankly there are not a lot of moments

I would be stoked to go back in time to relive. I'm more of

a move forward type of person. And although it would be

great to go into the future at least once to get those

winning lottery numbers there is not a pull for me to know

anything about the future. I prefer to live in the moment

these days.

When I say I want a time machine, I'm referring to a

machine that can actually make more time in a day. I don't

know when the world started moving by at break neck

speed, but honestly I feel like I'm getting whiplash at times.

What happened to those days of being in middle school

and high school? You know what I mean?

Back in school the time between Halloween, Thanksgiving

and Christmas...felt like an eternity. Time dragged.

Except summer break, that was the one instance where

time flew.

Now I feel like all those holidays just become one

giant ball of time with no definitive beginning or end.

I like to think of it as, Hallowgivingchristmayear.

So as I reflected on this swoosh of time that's constantly

blowing past my head, I had to mention how I got a little

grip this week on the issue of time. Since we have all

been in the same boat, or maybe I should call it the

leaking life raft of time, there is a small solution that

may put things in perspective.

This week a friend of mine did me a huge favor and

printed me 3 8x10 sheets of paper with four months

printed per page. It was perfect. There was enough space

to write in all the things that fill our days: doctors

appointments, meetings, parties, birthdays, travel plans,

anything.

You may be saying, "Big deal doofus, it's called a

calendar."

Yes, it is. But the great thing is that I can see my whole

year, right in front of my face, in less than a two foot space.

When I looked at all the months together I realized that I

really don't have as much as I thought going on and that

there was no excuse to not write or set goals for the year.

So I highly recommend doing this for yourself. Who knows,

you may have day after day blocked off for months to come,

but at least you will have an idea of how your year will

play out in the worm hole of time.

So today I must thank my friend, Gina, for being a

sweetheart and making my year look a little less daunting

with the printouts she made me. I love them.

I want to thank my friend, Sharmila, today for laughing

with me and sharing all my crazy ideas as I keep focusing

on this writing road. She has been encouragement

personified and didn't even question why I wanted to use

her car today. All I can say is a new picture is coming soon

for this blog and she was a large part of it...along with

her car. Hugs and kisses, Sharm.

Okay, so I received another rejection today and had

to laugh.

Laugh? Yes, laugh. The first two rejections came on

a standard 8x10 piece of paper and were form letters.

The 3rd came in an email, but was very nice. The agent

used my name in the response and she actually thanked

me for considering her with my query. I thought that

was pretty sweet. My 4th rejection was another

form style letter, but this one was on a piece of paper

about a third the size of an 8x10 sheet. So today the

fifth rejection came.

Drum roll please...the paper was about the size of

a post-it note.

I kid you not. Wasn't that a joke in a TV show or movie?

Where one person breaks up with another person with a

post-it note. I keep looking at it as a bad sign. Next it will

be a business card and after that those little signature tabs

that my tax guy puts on the paperwork. Whatever saves

a tree though is fine with me. It's humorous on a small

level. At least that's how I have to look at it to keep a

good attitude about it. All the letters back to me

have been very professional and kind. And that means

a lot.

So to Date: Rejections: 5 Queries still out there: 7

I think it's time to pull up my boot straps and send out

another round of queries. I will try to send out 5 more

by Friday.

Pages written today: 5