5 min? 10 min? 30 min? An Hour????

Okay, this post may not be for the feint at heart. My time reference in question is to why some people spend so much time on the toilet. Basically, men. But I can't be biased because I have walked into the ladies room at work and seen my fair share of women lingering as well. Although I do believe that the reasons for the long stay is drastically different for the sexes.

I thought about this on many occasions. Why is it that for the most part, women in general, will get in and get out. Is it a smell thing? Is it that we are busy individuals with a life that never stops so copping a squat for more than ten minutes puts us behind schedule. It's just a bodily function. Nothing more.

Now to men, it appears to be more of a ritual. A chance to escape into the man cave where the manna of stench keeps all others away and in dropping a load your territory is marked.

Or if it's like it is in my house, the bathroom becomes a second office for the men. A place where they disappear with cell phone and laptop in hand only to emerge 45 minutes to an hour later. I realized the depth to which these bathroom escapes meant when one afternoon I went to see what my three and a half year old was doing. I called his name and heard a little squeak come from the bathroom. I thought he was playing in his room but when I peeked around the door into the bathroom there he was with his Toy laptop perched on his legs. Like Father, like son. My first reaction...get the camera. Yes, I have this moment documented for blackmail usage as he hits those teen years should he decide to give me grief.

Is it that the act of taking a crap is so monumental that the distraction of mind and spirit is essential? Hence, the need for the computer and smart phone. I also wonder if it is a comfort level for my son seeing that he also needs to remove all clothing from the waist down to be able to 'do his business.' I can't help but wonder if he will grow out of this phase someday. Might be a tad bit embarrassing once he gets to middle school for others to see a pile of socks, shoes and pants near the stall door. Especially since most jokesters would take the chance to run with the clothes leaving him naked from the waist down. I think that's a nightmare I've had before. The one where your in school and then realize your not wearing any clothes. Yeah, I hate that one.

I guess we all have our own time duration for everything and the bathroom is no different. I just never quite understood the need for entertainment as I go. No newspaper. No book. No computer. I would prefer to read while curled up on my couch with a cozy, warm blanket and a scented candle. Add to that a glass of wine and an overcast rainy day and that's my idea of quality reading time. Not with my backside on a round piece of cold plastic.

But as I always say, to each HIS own. Or HER, depending on how you want to look at it.