We know Jesus was a man. That fact is a given but, what about God? Mary became pregnant by immaculate conception. Come on! If God was truly a man then wouldn't penis have been involved? Really, only a woman would decide to skip the dong and go straight to the source. And today we have the ability for women to conceive a child without a man involved. Unless the fertility doc is a guy but the only thing he's sticking in anyone is fertility drugs and a turkey baster. It's like we've come full circle to Mary's time again.
Then there is the ability for women to still have the big 'O' without a man's involvement. So many things have been created, whether by a man or woman, that can satiate that need when it hits. And this is all thanks to the ingenious minds of people that have been blessed by God. Again, if this were a man would these things be created for a woman's pleasure?
My guess would be NO!
Aside from the many, many toys available from sex shops there are many common unassuming items that have been created out there.
I'm sure the invention of the electric spin cycle washing machine in the 1950's brought many desperate housewives to their knees...literally. I'm sure laundry was never so much fun. Can you see June Cleaver counting down the minutes until Beaver and Wally headed off to school and Ward left for work. Just her and her Hotpoint. Bliss!
Then there was the invention of the massaging shower head. Equipped with both massage and pulse functions and a nice long cord. Seriously, I don't want to hear that it's great for washing the kids hair or the dog. Where women are concerned it serves one primal function. And again we hail the God above for giving some inventor that great little nugget. Shower...shampoo...Ooohh.
Now, I've seen in magazines these personal massage devices. Not the big ones that only aspire to dildo status but are lacking in design detail. I'm talking about the small ones. They are small enough to fit on your fingertips. How convenient. And they tote the ability to wipe away any headache or tense muscle. Unless there is a strong handed human digging there hands and fingers into my knotted body there is no way in hell that a tiny, fingertip massager is working out anything except one tiny muscle. You know where I'm going with this and frankly...you know where that massager goes.
So, if women were meant to only find that moment of bliss at the hands and other appendages of a man then why did someone bless us with the electronic age?
For these reasons and many more I am starting to believe that God is a woman. And she is smiling down on us all.
Hmmm...God a woman!? I have actually never thought much about this considering my strict religious upbringing -- but now I am intrigued! The more I ponder your observations about turkey basters, spin cycles, shower heads and small "massagers" the more the notion of a female deity becomes feasible in my narrow, Baptist-guilt ridden mind.
ReplyDeleteI can offer up more evidence to support your theory:
1. No man would have dreamed up the 7th Commandment.
2. If God were a man there'd be no STD's and women would never get pregnant
3. We would have 4 livers.
4. The entire planet would be populated by beautiful women with large breasts and no names.
5. If God were a man there'd be no 34-A sized bras...except maybe at Macy's.
6. Just think of all the bullshit women put up with throughout their lives...age lines, bleeding, swollen feet, cramps, lazy men. Why would a female God put women through this? Because She is female!
Anyways...best of luck with your books and the frustrating search for more time to do what you want. You are an amazing and talented woman...and a pretty damn good mommy. But, after reading your thoughts, I just wish I could look at a massage shower head or washing machine without craving a cigarette and a turkey baster. My innocence is lost.
Great post, I appreciate you and I would like to read your next post
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